“Success is walking from failure to failure with no loss of enthusiasm.” — Winston Churchill
Do you want to be successful? I’m sure the answer to that is yes. No one strives to be low in life. Success is something that everyone wants, yet it keeps eluding. The key to create success for ourselves is in our hands. You can create success using your mind. As you read the mentioned books, you will notice that our mind is far more superior than we give credit. These are the ten bests must-read books for building your success. Please leave a comment and tell me your favorite book for success.
Think & Grow Rich – “The Secret of Success.”
Think and Grow Rich is written by Napoleon Hill. A man with whom Andrew Carnegie shared his formula of personal achievement to accumulate hundreds of millions of dollars. This formula also helped many other men earn their millions!
Carnegie did not compensate napoleon Hill for 20 more years of his service. However,
Carnegie agreed to make a “necessary introduction and cover travel expenses.” Napoleon Hill agreed to spend twenty years or more interviewing the most successful men and compile the research into the principles as “Philosophy of Individual Achievement.”
The most inspirational story in this book is the story of Napoleon Hill’s son. He shares with the reader how his son was born without a piece of physical equipment for hearing – ears. Yet his son went to become a successful man and was able to hear despite what the physicians had said.
If you study, understand, and apply the philosophy in this book, then you will be prepared to accumulate wealth and success.
Napoleon Hill mentions that “A peculiar thing about this secret is that those who once acquire it and use it find themselves literally swept on to success, with but little effort, and they never again submit to failure!”
These principles are so practical that they are still used by some successful entrepreneurs today. Bob Proctor, whom we will talk about later, has studied these laws for 60 years and has achieved great success.
As A Man Thinketh
Written by James Allen in 1903, As A Man Thinketh is a self-help book. This book is a short read and has seven chapters. Allen describes it as “a book that will help you to help yourself.” See it as a companion for oneself to lean on when in need. This entire book is influenced by the Book of Proverbs chapter 23, verse 7;
“As a man thinketh in his heart, so is he.”
It reveals the power that thoughts have over our personalities, our circumstances, and our well-being. It touches on discovering the benefits of learning to master our minds & direct our thoughts toward the goals we want to achieve.
Psycho-Cybernetics
Psycho-Cybernetics is a motivational book by Maxwell Maltz. He was an American cosmetic surgeon and author.
Maltz’s books, especially Psycho-Cybernetics, are claimed to have inspired the modern self-help book genre. He coined the term Psycho-Cybernetics.
This book focuses on how you can use your mind to steer yourself toward positive goals and success.
According to Maxwell Maltz, our actions, behaviors, and personalities are built on our self-image. For example, a person may successfully lose weight but will snap back to their old weight.
A person snaps back to previous weight not because the person lacks knowledge of losing weight or lacks the willpower. The person rebounds to the last body weight because of the self-image they hold inside her mind.
Simply said, we constantly try to match the external circumstances to the self-image we carry in our subconscious mind.
If we want to change the external circumstances, then we must change our self-image first. It does not matter how old we are; our self-image can be changed.
Psycho-Cybernetics is an excellent book with lots of proof of how self-image affects our world.
The Art of Exceptional Living
The Art of Exceptional Living is by Jim Rohn. Jim Rohn shares his philosophy for wealth and happiness.
This book is also available in audiobooks. I like listening to his ideas because it almost feels like a friend is talking to you.
Jim Rohn spent five years with his mentor Earl Shoaff and learned the “fundamentals of living,” which forever changed his life.
According to Jim Rohn, you do not have to be an over-achiever to be successful in life. Instead of doing extraordinary things to achieve success, he suggests doing ordinary things extraordinarily well.
This book will help you move from having thought to act on that thought. It will help you build a new habit and stick to it by building on it every day.
Science of Getting Rich
The Science of Getting Rich is a practical guide to getting rich. This book was written in 1910, so the language is more sophisticated than the casual tone used in some other motivational books nowadays.
According to Wallace Wattles, “the science mentioned in this book is an exact science, and the failure is impossible.”
This book reveals how faith, life purpose, and vision can mold formless intelligence into riches.
By applying the science in this book, thinking, and acting according to the laws, anyone can get rich.
This book was an inspiration for the movie “The Secret.” To test if this law is accurate, you simply need to apply it yourself.
This book is a short read like “As a Man Thinketh.” However, read this book multiple times to fully grasp the “Science of Getting Rich.”
Atomic Habits
Atomic Habits by James Clear is the best book to read to learn how to form a habit. When you hear the word habit, you think only bad habits like biting your nails or not washing the dishes after using them. But you can form good ones. In this book, James Clear will teach you how to create beneficial habits to help you succeed. This book boils down setting and maintaining good habits to four simple laws
Make It Obvious
Make It Attractive
Make It Easy
Make It Satisfying
However, be prepared because some exercises (not strenuous physical exercises) James asks us to do may make you feel uncomfortable. I sure was uncomfortable, especially when he shares a “Habits Scorecard” strategy about making your current habits obvious. This exercise brings some of our aimless daily habits to our awareness.
Becoming Supernatural
Becoming Supernatural is written by Dr. Joe Dispenza. He initially appeared in a documentary called “What the Bleep do we know?”
He was scrutinized by many after his appearance in this documentary film. However, when he noticed that his information was helping some people heal emotionally, mentally, and physically, he went on to keep sharing his expertise with people regardless of whether “skeptics and rigid scientists” liked him or not.
In the book, Joe Dispenza shows how someone can alter neurotransmitters, hormones, genes, proteins, and enzymes through thought alone.
He teaches through examples how continually dwelling in “negative” past causes diseases in our body and how we can heal ourselves.
Habits of highly effective people
The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen R. Covey is a self-improvement book. Covey believes that our perception changes our world. The way we perceive something changes our perception, which in turn changes a given situation.
If you want to succeed in life, then you must identify the habits that will help you in your journey to success. Read this book if you’re going to learn a new skill. For success to thrive, you need to learn how to put it into action. By learning to be an effective person, you are already setting yourself up for immense success. You just won’t know it until you try it.
The Subtle Art of Not Giving a #@%!
The book, The Subtle Art of Not Giving a #@%! by Mark Manson is a counterintuitive approach to living a good life. Manson makes the argument-backed by both academic research and well-timed poop jokes- that “improving our lives hinges not on our ability to turn lemons into lemonade but on learning to better stomach lemons.”
We as humans have flaws and are limited- as he writes, “Not everybody can be extraordinary- there are winners and losers in society, and some of it is not fair or your fault.”
With chapters called Don’t Try, Happiness Is a Problem, The Value of Suffering, Failure is the way Forward, and The Importance of Saying No. This book will have you not giving a care in the world, but for only yourself.
You will be striving to build success in your life. While not giving in to other’s opinions because they are just that – opinions.
You Were Born Rich
Bob Proctor’s international best-seller, You Were Born Rich, guides you through all the major principles you must understand to unlock the vast wealth of potential buried inside you. In this book, you learn:
What money is, and how can you attract more of it?
How to build prosperous images in your mind that translate into magnificent results in your life.
The Law of Attraction- why some people keep attracting negative results and others always seem to attract positive results.
The role of faith in the success
The keys to bringing abundance into your life.
The Vacuum Law of Prosperity- why you must release the old to make room for the new
This book will help you change your point of view about yourself and your abilities. It will help give you the confidence to take your life by the horns and steer it to where you want it to go.
This book is available for free download at his website.
Conclusion
Success is like a building. You have to work on your foundation first. Without a solid foundation, your building blocks won’t have a firm ground to stand on. You are the foundation to your success. The person that you see in the mirror is the firm ground you need to solidify. For your success to mean something, you need to have yourself as a person ready.
You have to be ready for the ups, the downs, the no’s, the roadblocks, and all the greatness that will come with it. Success is something that you have to work for to keep. It won’t just stay with you if you just sit and stare at it. You have to get up and do something with it.
“Depending on what they are, our habits will either make us or break us. We become what we repeatedly do.” – Sean Covey
Human beings are creatures of habits, and habits are nothing more than the repetition of ideas/beliefs that we continuously keep feeding our subconscious minds.
Our subconscious mind does not know if the idea we are presenting is beneficial or harmful to us.
If the latter statement is true, it becomes crucial that we understand what we are feeding our subconscious mind.
So here are the 10 habits you can adopt to set yourself apart from the rest and be the top 1% of the population.
Habit #1. Become Sick and Tired of Being Sick and Tired
– Awareness is the key. You have to be aware that you are not happy where you are currently in your life for the change to happen.
If you get that “sick feeling’ in your gut when you think of your present, then it is time for you to ditch your old self and go after a new one.
If you are not tired enough of your present circumstances, the initial motivation will be short-lived.
To put it in the simplest term, your current “pain” should be far more than the pain you will face along the way to achieving your goal.
Habit #2. Stop Living in the Past. Let Go of Your Old Stories
– You have already paid the price once for past mistakes. You do not have to keep paying the price.
You have a choice to either keep reliving the past mistakes or let go of your old stories.
Neither one of them requires more effort than the other. When you keep living in the past, then that becomes your reality, your identity.
Plus, when you keep living in the past, you remain stuck. Whereas when you embrace your past mistakes, not only it makes you wiser, but it also allows you to grow.
Look at your past mistakes optimistically. Look at it as a cameo in your life’s story. Your past mistakes probably taught you a lesson that you probably will avoid in the future.
Habit #3. Decide What You Want
– Decide what you want to achieve and be specific about your goal. Do not just say I want “more money.”
If you walk down the street and find a dollar bill, you have a dollar more than before. Is that your definition of “more money”?
Do not say I want to “lose weight!”
If you lose a pound in a whole year, then you have lost weight compared to before. Is that your definition of “lose weight”?
Being specific is very important because it gives you the “known target.”
Just like when you are travel from point A to point B, you plan out your route, your pit stops, and your accommodation, plan your steps to reach your “definite aim in life.”
Habit #4. Make a Decision Quickly but Change it Slowly
– Napoleon Hill said, “Successful people of the past and the present make a decision quickly but rarely change it if any.”
We, humans, are always looking for instant gratification, especially nowadays with social media.
If we decide to lose weight, we follow a diet and exercise plan for few weeks. If the result does not show in few weeks, then we move on to the next goal.
So instead of jumping from one goal to another, do yourself a favor; once you decide to change one of your habits, stick to that decision for long enough.
Habit #5. Stop Defining Yourself by Other People’s Standards
– Other people have not experienced what you have. They have not lived your life, and neither do they own your life. Other people do not know your potential. So, stop letting other people define your standards.
Sometimes when we feel like stretching and getting out of our comfort zone, our loved ones will quickly warn us of our potential failure.
The concern may be coming from a good heart, but that concern hurts your personal growth.
If you feel like your friends and loved ones will criticize your dream, let your result speak your potential. Do not share your dreams and goals with your close friends and loved ones if you think they may not understand you.
Habit #6. Stop Looking for Other People’s Validation
– Something that is right for you may not be right for someone else. Your success does not require other people’s validation. If you have a purpose in your life and know your calling, then go for it.
For example, I always desired to write a blog and help others, but I always looked for validation from my loved ones. I was afraid to be ridiculed and perhaps made fun of if I failed in getting this message to others.
Once I made up my mind and stopped looking for validation, I went for my calling. It does not matter if anyone will read these messages. This message will eventually reach out to the people who need to follow their life purpose.
Habit #7. Become Comfortable Being Uncomfortable
– Most of us do not like to get out of our comfort zone because there is always this fear of the unknown and fear of failure. But this same comfort level is stunting your growth in every area of your life.
People are not afraid of the darkness; instead, they are afraid of the light. If people knew their potential, then they would stop being comfortable in their current state.
If you have read about me, you will notice how much I have achieved in my life, and it was not because I am any more intelligent than anybody else. I have an attitude of “I want to see what my potential is.”
Once you start hitting the majority of your goals, the process becomes addictive. Almost as if you want to see what is your “ceiling.”
You may meet with temporary defeat along the way, but that does not mean you are a failure. Just thank the Universe for the experience, learn from your mistakes, modify your plan, and keep moving on.
You have already spent time and energy; you might as well keep on moving and avoid slipping back into your comfort zone. Earl Nightingale told us the secret of success in life, and he defined that success in just one word –attitude! What is your attitude towards life? Is it that of pessimist or optimist?
Habit #8. Take the First Step, Follow, and Trust the Unknown
– Martin Luther King Jr. said, “Take the first step in faith. You don’t have to see the whole staircase. Just take the first step.”
There will never be a “perfect time” to start taking action. To put things in momentum, you have to take the first step and keep on moving.
Like when we drive at night, we cannot see our destination, but we see few miles ahead of us. We follow the path knowing that the way will eventually lead us to our set destination.
If you have a set goal in your mind, then go ahead and take the first step. When you meet with a temporary resistance because of a lack of knowledge or resources, then resolve that along the way
You cannot be sitting there and think to yourself, “I need to know everything before I venture out to achieve my goal.” In reality, you will never know everything about a particular subject.
For instance, when I started this blog, I learned a lot along the way (building a website, hosting a website, writing blog posts,…). I had zero knowledge about this subject before this.
Habit #9. Hang Around with Like-Minded People
– If you want to know what your future will look like, then take the inventory of people around you. The people around you are pretty much the reflection of your own belief.
If you want to be successful in business, you need to find someone who has already done what you want and follow the footprints.
Hanging around with like-minded people not only makes you succeed but also keeps you focused and motivated because you all share a similar goal.
If you are a health-conscious person, you would not be hanging around those who do not believe in being health conscious. It just does not make any sense. Now, does it?
Habit #10. Persevere Until You Reach Goal
– It would be much easier to achieve every goal you set if you quit the habit of changing the goal. Make it a habit to follow through until you reach success.
It is easy to give up at the first sign of failure. However, if you persist long enough, then you will eventually achieve your goal.
Perseverance means continuing to take a small step towards your goal after the initial rush of adrenaline wears off.
The fine example we see people not persevering long enough is at the beginning of the New Year. Supposedly we need a reset point in our life to either start anew or become better than last year.
Most of us will start taking actions towards our “new year resolution,” but the minute the adrenaline wears off and life starts getting in the way, we slack off and go back to our old habits!
Yes, there will be days when you do not feel like working towards your set goals, but this is where you set yourself apart from the rest.
Even though it is a minor action, just make sure you take that small step towards your goal because it will keep the momentum going.
On the contrary, if you quit halfway, then not only do you risk setting yourself for old habits, but it also affects your self-esteem to a certain extent.
You start defining yourself as a failure, inconsistent, or just not good enough (which is not true).
Conclusion
Life is full of surprises! When we came into this world, we did not come with an operating manual. We are who we are because of the things we experienced in our life.
We are the product of our environment. Along the way, we accepted other people’s opinions about us and made it our identity.
However, we are unaware that we don’t have to keep living the life we do not want. We have the power to change our old set beliefs and habits.
“Breathe. Let go. And remind yourself that this very moment is the only one you know you have for sure” – Oprah
No matter how much we try, but we cannot change our past. The only thing we can control is our present and our future.
We do pretty well for most of our lives. Still, somewhere along the way, we also carry the baggage of self-limiting beliefs, past mistakes, anger and resentment, and sometimes toxic people and relationships.
We apply false self-limiting beliefs labels on ourselves, limiting our growth and full potential. We relive past mistakes in our heads over and over again to the point it causes frustration.
If that was not enough, we hold on to anger and resentment (whether with the people, situation, or ourselves), leading us down to more serious problems related to health, such as high blood pressure and diabetes.
And toxic people and relationships in our lives make us someone we are not, to the point we lose our own identity.
Letting go may not be an easy task, but I will take a chance to help you look at things from a different perspective and potentially help you let go.
Let Go of Self-Limiting Beliefs
1. Change inner conversations – Make a note of your inner conversations. Are they predominantly positive conversations or negative conversations?
For example, if you spill something by mistake, do you instantly tell yourself, “I am always clumsy!”?
If you make an obvious mistake on the exam, do you instantly tell yourself, “I am so stupid!! What is wrong with me?”
Hmm, now, in my view, such conversations are not helping you; instead, they are hurting you.
When you notice yourself having a negative inner conversation, switch it over instantly with a positive conversation. But you have to let go of negative conversations as much as you can.
2. Change self-limiting thoughts – “Whether you think you can or you can’t. You’re right.” – Henry Ford
Everything in the Universe comprises opposites. If there is up, then there is down. If it is right, then there is wrong. If there is happiness, and there is sadness. If there is poverty, then there is wealth.
Make a note of self-limiting thoughts and replace them because self-limiting thoughts will take you only in one direction (down), whereas unrestricted positive thoughts will take you in the opposite direction (up).
3. Create new beliefs – there is a difference between thoughts and beliefs. Thoughts are the result of beliefs.
Beliefs are repetitive conditioning of the same thoughts. Now, what do I mean by that?
Remember point #1? If I keep saying to myself, “I am so stupid!” “Why do I always make stupid mistakes?” “No wonder people think I am stupid!” What do you think this repetition of thoughts will do?
It will create my reality. Hence, my belief! All of this happens at a subconscious level. That is why some things may have happened to us in our childhood (when our mind was vulnerable to accepting anything), but we grew up making those things our reality (which sometimes are grossly false).
Let go of false beliefs and create new ones.
4. Affirm new beliefs – if repeatedly affirming false beliefs got you where you did not want to be, then do the opposites.
Take a small card and write down your new belief. It can be anything. Some of the examples can be like, “I am worthy of love!” “I am confident!” “I am smart!”
Read this affirmation as many times as you can throughout the day to replace your old negative belief with a new one.
Remember, you did not create a negative belief for yourself in just one day. It was a repetition over a while. So, it is evident that creating new beliefs will take time, repetition, and, most of all, perseverance.
5. Meditate with new beliefs – whenever you find few minutes to yourself, take a deep breath, close your eyes, quiet your mind, and imagine your “new you” as your present self.
Meditation does not have to be 30 minutes to an hour-long. It can be as short as 5 minutes. However, when you are meditating, stay focused. Avoid drifting away in the past or on all the things pending on your schedule for the day.
Become selfish and take away several few minutes to create a new you. You are worth it!
Let Go of Past Mistakes
6. Stop Obsessive thoughts – Stop replaying past mistakes inside your head over and over again. It is the worst thing you can do to yourself.
Your mind cannot tell the difference between imagination or reality. For example, suppose we keep playing negative thoughts inside our heads. In that case, our mind thinks it is happening right now and releases the chemical inside your body that negatively affects you and eventually makes you sick.
The idea mentioned above is Joe Dispenza’s. So, when you find yourself having obsessive thoughts, head over to YouTube and watch one of his videos, and you will know what I mean.
7. Take inventory of past achievements rather than past mistakes – Now, we have not ONLY made mistakes in our life. Is it?
Instead of focusing on past mistakes, how about focusing on past achievements?
Focusing on your achievements will give you self-confidence and courage to move on in the right direction.
Learn how to let go of the past and hold on to your achievements.
8. List things learned from past mistakes – With every mistake comes a lesson. I truly believe that! Now either we can look at a cup as half empty or half full. The choice is ours.
What did you learn from your past mistakes? I know one of my mistakes was deciding to write a blog back in 2014. However, “self-limiting thoughts” set in, and I put my dream aside until now. That is seven years later!!!
Do you know how much time I lost? Maybe all these years, I could have been sharing my words of wisdom and knowledge and help someone! Perhaps I could have helped someone turn his/her life around for the better.
I learned from my past mistakes that I should have faced my fear head-on and taken action anyway. What is the worst it could have happened? Of course, I would have lost some of my time, but that would have been way much better than where I am (not closer to my goal).
Now I can sit here and cuss myself on missing those seven years or dust myself off and start where I am now.
Because in the future, I want to remember my success, not my mistakes!
9. Stop the temptation of going old ways again – Even now and then, when the doubt sips in, I feel the temptation of going old ways again.
It is easy to go back to our comfort zone because we humans are always in a survival mode. If something feels like a threat to us, then we start looking for a safe place.
This is where you need to know how badly you want something. If the desire is strong, you will keep moving forward even though there are roadblocks along the way.
10. Be grateful for your past mistakes – this point is connected to point #7. Be genuinely thankful for your past mistakes because they have helped you grow and mature.
If you made mistakes of hanging around with the wrong people for a long time, then be grateful for that because now you can differentiate between “wrong people” and “right people” for you.
If eating unhealthy and not exercising has caused some kind of disease in your body, be grateful for that, because now you have learned the importance of eating healthy and how sometimes it can reverse some of the diseases.
Let go of mistakes that don’t serve you well in life.
Let Go of Anger and Resentment
11. Find the reason for anger and resentment – it is vital that before we resolve any issue, we find its cause first.
Find out if the reason for your anger and resentment is huge or small. Remember defining the reasons as big or small is subjective and is different for everyone.
Sometimes, we realize that the anger and resentment we hold are not reasonable. And sometimes, some anger and bitterness are not even worth our time and energy.
12. Resolve if possible – holding anger will not do anyone any good. Mainly, it is not going to do you any good.
“Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned.” – Buddha
If there is room to talk with the person you hold anger with, approach that person and talk it out.
It does not mean you have to accept that person back in your life and repeat the whole cycle, but it helps both you and the other person move forward with a clean heart.
If all fails, then let go!
13. Cry It Out – I remember when I lost my daughter back in 2008, I was so consumed with anger. I was angry with myself, with the people around me, with the Universe itself!
But do you know what helped? Instead of suppressing my anger, I cried out every time I felt the anger.
Not only it made me a stronger person, but it helped me let go of the anger and blame.
14. Take Responsibility – “It is easy to see the faults of others, but difficult to see one’s faults. One shows the faults of others like chaff winnowed in the wind, but one conceals one’s faults as a cunning gambler conceals his dice.” – Buddha
Sometimes we become so consumed with our hurt that we tend to forget that we may have been responsible for our pain somewhere along the way.
It is easy to shift blames on others, but it takes courage to take responsibility for our wrongdoing.
We may be correct from our perspective, but if we step in another person’s shoes, does the situation look the same from the other side?
15. Take a walk out in nature – if all fails, then nature is the best healer for our wound.
Take some time and take a walk on the grass barefoot.
Maybe find a place where you can close your eyes and hear the gentle flow of the river or the lake. Then, imagine “that flow” washing away your anger and resentment.
Let Go of Toxic People and Relationships
16. Make a list of people with whom you spend most of your time – “You are the average of five people you spend the most time with.” – Jim Rohn
It means that you do not need a fortune teller or a globe to tell you what your future will be.
If you want to be successful, then surround yourself with successful people. If you’re going to be healthy, then surround yourself with healthy people. If you’re going to be wealthy, then surround yourself be rich people.
Identify when to let go of toxic people and relationships.
17. Test your “close friends” – I once heard a beautiful lecture by Les Brown, and he said, “How do you know if real or flaky people surround you? Test them!
Call them up and tell them there is a significant event coming up for you, and it would mean a lot to you if they joined you for the event.
If they refuse to come, then kindly thank them and hang up the phone. People who showed up (despite their busy schedule) for your special moment are your well-wisher.”
18. Set boundaries – boundaries in any relationship are necessary. If there are no boundaries, then the relationship becomes imbalanced and eventually suffers the consequences.
“You teach people how to treat you by what you let them get away with.” James Clear
We form a relationship with the other person with the intention that the other person will accept you for who you are, and you will do the same for the other person.
However, as months and years pass and we become attached to the other person, we start lowering our standards just to be liked and loved.
Over time, the relationship becomes imbalanced.
19. Stop losing yourself in a Relationship – being kind and loving is okay but losing yourself in a relationship is not. It is especially true for us women who innately are caring and nurturing.
Sometimes we bend over backward so much in a relationship that we lose our own identity and forget our values.
Remember, if somebody is meant to stay in your life, then he/she will stay. Therefore, you will not have “to work” for it.
And thinking your love and kindness will change other person’s unacceptable behaviors towards you, make the other person a better human, or make them love you, then I am sorry to say that such things rarely happen.
Are you willing to lose yourself in a toxic relationship? Let go of the relationship that is making you toxic as well!
20. Do not be afraid of losing people and starting over – it is easy to stay in a comfort zone and suffer rather than let go and start over, especially when you have invested your time and energy in something or someone.
“When someone isn’t treating you right, no matter how much you love them, you’ve got to love yourself more and walk away.” – Unknown
If the people in your life are not making you a better person or helping you grow, it is time to become a little selfish and let them go. And for some reason, if you cannot let them go, then distant yourself and spend less time around them.
Conclusion
“Let go and let God!” Stop getting in your way. You cannot change the external circumstances. The only thing you have control over is the change within yourself.
Happy Living!
Please leave a comment and share how you let go of things you have no control over in your life!
We want to accomplish so many goals in our lives, but for one reason or another, we procrastinate and tend to put our goals to the “next day.” We forget that yesterday is gone, today is guaranteed (because we are still alive), but tomorrow is not guaranteed.
We are in the middle of the pandemic, and it is teaching us lots of valuable life lessons. We have learned to appreciate love, family, friends, time, and, most importantly, life!!!
Just like a disease does not discriminate among people (race, social status, or gender), time does not discriminate either.
Everyone gets 24 hours a day, but how one spends 24 hours is up to that person.
So, either we can aimlessly click on YouTube videos (and while watching videos scroll down to read ALL the comments), look at the subscribers the particular Youtuber has, and kind of feel envious of the person’s success, or we can create success for ourselves.
However, do we pause to think of the attitudes of successful people who achieve their goals? There are several attitudes these successful people have, but today I want to discuss just one practice, and that is getting things done when we plan to get things done.
8 Attitudes of Successful People
Now let us clarify what the word “successful” means. Successful does not mean that the person is intelligent, good-looking, wealthy, or (whatever other things you want to list) possess. It is quite the opposite being successful means having the following attitudes.
Attitude #1 – Knowing Your Goal
Knowing EXACTLY what we want in life (just stating, “I want more money is not enough. State the amount of money. Stating, “I want to lose weight is not enough. Know exactly how many pounds you want to lose). See your end before you get there!
Attitude #2 – Why You Want to Achieve That Goal
Whenever we do something, there is always a reason behind it. For example, if we choose to exercise, then it is not only because we want to look good in our clothes. Of course, that is the outcome of us exercising.
However, there is a multitude of reasons behind that action. For example, some of us may choose to exercise because it helps us relax, while some of us may choose to exercise because we instead invest in health rather than illness.
So, take few minutes and figure out your “why” because it will keep you motivated and focused along your journey.
Attitude #3 – Focusing on One Goal at A Time
Choose only ONE goal, please!
Our mind is a powerhouse, and it can focus on multiple things at any given time. Hence, we tend to lose our focus and never achieve our goals.
So, find out what is that “one goal” that keeps nagging at you when you are alone.
Personally, although I have gained so many things, I had this feeling that I have not met my purpose. I wanted to share my knowledge and wisdom with other people. So, I decided to start my blog and share my difficulties and achievements (not to brag about them but to share and let my readers know that “once you set your mind, ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE!).
So awesome readers, choose ONE goal now.
Attitude #4 – Making No Excuses
Once you have set your mind to your goal, make no EXCUSES!
If we go back to the beginning of the article, do you remember everyone gets 24 hours in a day?
Instead of making an excuse, how about combining activities?
Now, what do I mean by that? For example, if your goal is to master one self-help book, then maybe you can listen to that particular book while exercising.
If you want to lose 1 pound a week, how about taking some actions like parking a car farther, taking steps (if you work in a building), and replacing one meal a day with a “healthy version” of your favorite food.
It is incredible nowadays how many choices we have available. So, there should not be a reason to make an excuse!
Attitude #5 – Taking Inventory of the Resources That Will Help You Achieve Your Goal
It may be that you exactly know what your goal is, but probably you have not been able to accomplish it because you did not have the resources.
Now the resources can be anything from lack of skills, lack of time, lack of money, or lack of knowledge.
So, first, find out your strength and your weakness so that you can tackle your weakness. Then, find a mentor from whom you can learn what you require to reach your goal.
However, we have to be careful in this step. Hopefully, in the process of finding the “expert,” we do not fall into the loophole of mindlessly going through social media.
It is very easy to get hypnotized with social media and get pulled into it mindlessly for hours (been there, done that).
Attitude #6 – Knowing the Deadline To Achieve Your Goal
Yup, it is vital to set a date because if we do not have a set date, there will always be tomorrow, right?
Also, this step keeps us accountable for our actions, and we built ourselves on this success.
There is a reason that we know the deadline to reach our goal. It is just like a marathon runner who knows when he/she will be running the race.
Let’s suppose if there was no deadline for that runner, do you think he/she will be focused and spend the time and energy effectively?
Knowing the deadline puts you in a zone.
Attitude #7 – Response after a temporary defeat
Remember in the above step, we set a deadline to reach a specific goal? Know what you are going to do if you meet a temporary defeat.
Will you throw in the towel and say, “Well, I tried it once, and that is more than enough!”
Do you think trying something once and failing once is more than enough to give up your goal?
We would not have been walking on our feet if, as a baby, we had such an attitude. When we were a baby, we fell and got up, fell and got up until we mastered the art of walking.
Plus, if you were working towards a goal and failed, so what? Instead of saying, “I failed!” How about we say, “I have come so far. I might as well keep on moving because if I go two steps back instead of going one step forward probably, I will never realize how my life would have been different.”
So, push through your defeat. Hold your head up high and keep on moving forward.
If all fails, at least you learned something new. Right?
Earl Nightingale said, “There is only one thing that sets apart successful people from the people who are not successful. And that is ATTITUDE!” So, what is going to be your ATTITUDE?
Attitude #8 – Enjoying the Victory and Repeat 6 steps for the next goal
After you achieve your goal, make it a point to celebrate your success. It will give a sense of new confidence. Celebrate VICTORY!
Although all of the steps mentioned above are important, this is especially important.
Do you know what I have learned? We, as human beings, think negatively first instead of thinking positive.
I can prove this to you and be honest with your emotions when I ask you this question. Will you? If someone positively comments on you, what is the first thought that goes to your mind? (If you feel comfortable answering, then please comment below).
For me, if my colleagues tell me, “Shabana, you are so smart!”
The first thing, of course, I thank them, but then inside my head, I think, “They are just kind to me. I am not that smart!”
Do you agree with this kind of thought behavior? (Again, please leave the comment below. I would love to hear from you).
In Conclusions
Achieving goals is not a super complicated task.
Just following a few steps will put you way ahead of those who do not take action and keep procrastinating.
Procrastination is the art of wasting away precious time by doing useless things! Yup, I will stick to this definition because procrastination is what I precisely used to do before I got fed up and decided to use my time efficiently. However, remember that what worked for me may not work for you. Today I am going to share personal tips to overcome procrastination and achieve success.
Figure out what works for you and stick to it.
According to Ubersuggest, people search for ways to combat procrastination roughly 135,000 times a month. There are thousands of people out there just like you ready to start building their best lives but save the hard work until the last minute.
So here is my question to you.
How do you know when the best time to start achieving your goal? The second you desire to be better. 19th- century American philosopher Ralph Waldo Emerson put it best, “You wouldn’t have the desire if you didn’t have the ability within you to achieve it.”
The best way to overcome procrastination is to understand why you procrastinate in the first place and learn how to recognize the signs.
I. Change the Mindset to Overcome Procrastination
1.What is a mindset, and why is it important to overcome procrastination
Simply said, a mindset is a set of beliefs that you have accepted to be your reality. We are not born with a conditioned mind.
However, when we are growing up, our parents, teachers, friends, and anyone we expose ourselves to present us an idea about who we are and what we are capable of. The minute we accept someone else’s opinion about us, it becomes our new reality, and we operate from that mindset. Let me give you an example to make this point clear for you to understand.
Let’s suppose a parent names his/her child “stupid.” Now that child is addressed stupid probably many times a day because that is the child’s name. As a child, he/she may not know the meaning of the “stupid,” but you can imagine as that child is growing up what it does to the child’s psyche. The child accepts the idea of being stupid (more so because parents themselves gave that name).
At a conscious level, the child may reject the idea of being stupid, but at a subconscious level, his mind is so conditioned that he/she thinks and act stupid.
So, what does this example means to procrastination? If we peeled all the layers of our being and get to the nitty-gritty of understanding why we procrastinate, we soon realize that there are certain beliefs we have accepted as true for ourselves that are holding us back. Procrastination is not superficial (laziness, lack of time, lack of education,…); it is much deeper than that.
2. Take an inventory of your conditioned mind and reasons for procrastination
So how do we exactly move from having an idea inside our head to putting it into action? We do that by taking an inventory of our conditioned minds. Because if we do not work on our inner self and try to achieve a goal by mere willpower, then the result will be temporary.
We must figure out if the problem is superficial or deeply rooted for any change to be permanent. Figure out if you keep putting stuff off because of pure laziness, lack of time, and resources. Or is it your conditioned mind that is holding you back by constantly whispering that doubtful nagging voice inside your head you “you are not good enough,” “you are not smart enough.”
Think of something you want to do. Now think how you feel when you think of doing that thing. If you want to achieve something and there is that doubtful nagging voice, we get past negative voices and begin our change by taking a baby step. Remember the quote, “Rome was not built in a day!”
3. Replace old, conditioned mind/thoughts to move past procrastination
Congratulations for sticking with me so far!!
So now that we have figured out conditioned mind/thoughts, it is time for us to replace those thoughts with permanently life-changing thoughts.
You may have heard other motivational speakers talk about these methods, but my personal favorites are affirmations and visualization. For example, when you have a thought in your mind saying, “you are not good enough,” replace that thought instantly and quickly with, “I am more than enough.”
You will notice that eventually, as you keep doing this multiple times, it will become your new reality without you even realizing it (just like you previously accepted other false ideas about you and made it your reality).
Try your best and guard your thoughts and inner conversations, and do not allow any negative thoughts to slip by you. You become “the guardian” of your mind just like a parent is the guardian/protector of the child. If, as a parent, you would not let any harm come to your child, then why would you allow negative thoughts and negative inner conversation to destroy yourself being?
There is only one you and you are priceless!!
II. Know Your Vision to Overcome Procrastination
1. Know why you want what you want to move past procrastination
It may be obvious, but you have to know why you want to achieve anything.
Now the drive of wanting something may come from a place of pain, or it may come from pure desire. However, when I read about the most successful people, I noticed that the pain was the defining factor for them to reach the level of success in life.
I am not saying “the pain” is the prerequisite to achieve your goals, but it will keep you more focused and more motivated.
Jim Rohn once said, “We must all suffer from two things: the pain of discipline or the pain of regret.”
For me, the pain of regret far more than the pain of discipline. Time does not discriminate among anyone. Everybody gets 24 hours in a day to spend. How we spend 24 hours defines our present and our future.
2. Know what is going to be the outcome when procrastination is overcome
Now nobody is a perfect human being (not even me). Only you are the one to decide the outcome of achieving/not achieving your goal.
The result of your present actions determines your future reality. There can be either sense of achievement or a sense of regrets.
I have been on both sides of the spectrum, and trust me, with the sense of regrets comes lots of pain, guilt, resentment, self-doubt, and worst of all, it chips away from your self-confidence and self-confidence.
Not only these negative emotions take you two steps back, but it further confirms your “false reality” and what do you do as a result? You confirm that “false reality” and make it permanent unless you are not afraid to fail time and time again, pick yourself up, and start again.
The opposite is valid with the sense of achievement. When you set a goal and achieve it by taking a small step every day, it gives an adrenaline rush. It builds your confidence, self-esteem and transforms your “false reality” into a new “identity.”
3. Figure out a plan to reach the outcome without procrastination
Just like we need a plan when we travel from one part of the country to the other part of the country, we need to figure out a plan to reach the desired outcome. Because let’s accept the fact that not everything is going to be rainbow and sunshine, not everyone in your close circle will accept your idea and support you every step of the way. When you start achieving your goals, you may soon realize that the people with whom you hang out may not be vibrating at the higher frequency as you.
Figure out a plan to reach the outcome. How are you going to get from point A to B? For example, if your goal is to lose weight, how about starting with a baby step? How about when there is a commercial on TV, you commit yourself to do ten squats. If you did that for ten commercial breaks, then there are your 100 squats for the day. Of course, a squat is just an example. You don’t need to do squat if you have a weak knee or plain ol’ hate squats.
Once this becomes a habit, then you can add another exercise. And please do not expect results in a couple of months because bad habits did not take a couple of months to creep in. The persistence of negative thinking and negatively doing things for months, probably years, built those negative habits.
It is up to you to reverse the gear and be persistent in thinking and positively doing things in the present and future.
I genuinely believe procrastination is a thief of time. It has taken me almost six years to stop procrastinating and arrive at the place I am today.
In 2014, I had this sudden motivation to learn everything about digital marketing (it was one more skill I wanted to add to my life’s resume). So I started my journey, but I kept putting off tasks until the next day.
However, a day became weeks, and weeks became months, and so on, and here I am finally acting on my “goals.”
Why did it take me so long to take action?
Well, I wanted to know the answer as well, and I was interested in finding out why I was procrastinating, and I googled the term “how to stop procrastinating?”
Anyone here who has done the same thing? Please show your hands. There is nothing to be ashamed of!!
We (including me) Google the term, “How to stop procrastinating?” and we think that magically we will suddenly stop procrastinating, and our goals will transform into reality.
Well, I must say that yeah, it took me six years to transform my goals into reality, but I have learned a lot along the way, and I want to share the knowledge with you.
Please feel free to leave a comment below and share your “action plan to overcoming procrastination.” As a nurse, before we find the cure, it is necessary to know the diagnosis. Right? We need to know what the meaning of procrastination is. Is procrastination the same as laziness?
I. Research on Procrastination
1. Define Procrastination
Let’s turn our action from google to Merriam Webster to find the official definition of procrastination.
Per Merriam- Webster, procrastination is a transitive verb : to put off intentionally and habitually intransitive verb: to put off intentionally the doing of something that should be done.
Per most of us, procrastination is a lack of focus and motivation.
However, as you read further, you will notice that it is not valid.
2. Reasons We Procrastinate
In my experience, the more I read books and watched the videos on procrastination, I found out that we procrastinate because of our core beliefs (we will talk about this later), lack of definite goals, fear of failure, fear of ridicule, and the list can go on.
Some of you may have heard about Napoleon Hill’s famous book, “Think and Grow Rich.” If you have not yet read it, then I suggest grabbing hold of that book and read it. I certainly have read it multiple times and still read it. This book is full of knowledge!
Napoleon Hill mentioned that before we begin any journey, we need to have a definite purpose. We have to know what before why. And if our definite purpose is not strong enough, then there is no desire to take action.
Let me explain.
For example, I am overweight (BTW, I am 30 pounds overweight). Until and until the reasons and the why of losing weight comes to my awareness, I will NOT take action.
And me procrastinating has nothing to do with me being lazy (shhh). So apart from other subconscious reasons (which we all have), the desire for me to lose weight is not strong enough.
3. Data on Procrastination
According to Hartley Jo’s article PROCRASTINATION: THIEF OF TIME (ooh, I miss my college days when I had to write papers), “It’s estimated that about 20 percent of adults are procrastinators. However, some of us procrastinate more often than others…”
The author further goes on to state, “Research shows that many personal factors influence procrastination. These include poor mental health, stress, sleep, and personality type. Some studies even suggest that there’s a genetic link. However, in an ironic twist, some causes of procrastination can also be the effect. Procrastination also impacts poorly on physical health. One study found that chronic procrastination may make people more vulnerable to severe health conditions such as cardiovascular disease and hypertension. In addition, it can affect mental health with low moods and feelings of guilt.”
II. How Core Beliefs and Procrastination Relate
1. Define Core Beliefs
Core beliefs are beliefs that we have accumulated over the years by interacting with our environment.
For example, when we were young and when our parents pointed out our good behaviors, we created a “certain belief” in ourselves.
We continuously do this in our everyday life even as an adult. As human beings, we have sets of negative and positive core beliefs.
However, depending on which core beliefs dominate our mind, that belief determines our actions.
Let’s suppose I want to be a successful blogger, but if I have a core belief that I am not a good writer, then I will keep procrastinating, and I will not act!
2. List Negative Core Beliefs
Trust me! There is a reason I have asked to “list negative core beliefs.” I have noticed time and time again that it is easy for me to negate myself than appreciate myself. What? Do you say you do not believe me? Okay!
Here is a challenge
Get a timer
Set a timer to 1 minute
List POSITIVE habits about you (do as quickly as you can)
And now let’s reverse
Get a timer (this is the same step. Lol)
Set a timer to 1 minute (this step is too)
List NEGATIVE habits about you (again, do as quickly as you can)
P.S. You will notice me shifting between habits and beliefs. Habits build upon our personal beliefs. Sorry, I digressed, but I wanted to point that out to my awesome readers. Let us go back on track.
Now take a look at the list. How many things you have listed under positive habits and how many under negative habits.
I, for one, can tell you that until I started studying the subject, I was the PRO in listing all the things that are wrong with me and my life!
3. Replace Negative Core Beliefs
Now that we have faced the demons (our negative core beliefs), it is time to replace those negative core beliefs with positive ones.
Instead of saying, “I am ALWAYS late to work.” Say, “I have been late to work SO FAR.”
You see, when we say ALWAYS, we label ourselves.
For example, if you have procrastinated (so far ;)), it does not mean you are a procrastinator.
So you see, the difference between the two words? Procrastinated/Procrastinating is the action, and procrastinator is the character.
4. Create Visual Cue to Build New Beliefs
When I worked out (yeah, I used to work out before I gained 30 pounds), this fitness trainer would always share a word before beginning her workout and explain what that words meant to her.
I integrated this action into my life as well. Although this seemed like a tiny step, it had a powerful impact. So, here is the step, and I want you to follow
Take post-it notes
Write just one positive word (this will be your visual cue)
Place it where you will notice it multiple times a day
Look at your word every chance you get and “feel the positive emotions” every time you read your word. Over time you will see that your negative beliefs have replaced with positive ones.
III. Combine New Core Beliefs with Action to Beat the Procrastination
1. Set Realistic Goal
Have you heard of the saying, “Rome wasn’t built in a day”?
Our habits build in the same way.
I know several researchers and authors state that it takes 21 days to create a new habit. So, do yourself a favor and set a realistic goal.
Do you remember the post-it note from the above step? That is your “Habit of The Day.”
If you wrote “Eat Fruit” on that note, then your goal for that day should be to eat fruit! Simple enough, eh?
Here is a small caveat though, if you fail to keep true to “word of the day.” Meaning if you wrote “Eat Fruit,” and if you did not eat fruit that day, then I want you to repeat the step the next day. Write the same word on a NEW post-it note (new day, new opportunity) and follow through it the next day.
Keep repeating until you say to yourself, “I am sick and tired of being sick and tired, and I am ready to change.”
Please go back and read the above sentence one more time. It is crucially important!
2. Stay Consistent
When I say stay consistent, I mean use the same color post-it note and same color marker EVERY SINGLE DAY!!
I hear you say, “What? Are you crazy?”
But wait…
There is madness to the method.
Have you heard of the famous studies in behavioral psychology carried out by Russian physiologist Ivan Pavlov?
To summarize, what Mr. Pavlov did was conditioned the dog’s response (salivating) to the stimuli (ringing bell).
Now go back to my madness of asking you to use the same color post-it note and same color pen/marker. What we are doing here is we are connecting the stimuli (color) to your behavior (“eating fruit” – if that was the word you chose).
I suggest you choose the color that you see every day around you. What this does is you are creating new habits by association.
Please be advised that the information presented here is for informational purposes only and is my personal opinion. I am in no way a medical doctor or an expert in the field. The ideas and steps provided here are from my readings and experiences. Read the disclaimer here.
3. List and Lose Non-Productive Activities and People
You have come so into changing your habits and overcoming procrastination. However, if you are surrounded by a bunch of “you can’t do that” types of people, then you will just keep going in circles.
I had once heard somewhere, I do not remember where, but I will try to quote it. It went something like this, “How do you know you are winning? It is when you have more haters than lovers.”
Now my question to you is this. Do you want to be loved and stay at the bottom? Or want to be in the top 1% and rise above average? Well, the choice is always ours!
IV. Find a Mentor or Mastermind Group to Kick the Procrastination to the Curb
1. Find Mentor
Yeah, finding a mentor term may sound like old school, but it is the crucial step to take if you want to “shoot for the moon.”
Les Brown said it beautifully, ” Shoot for the moon. Because even if you miss it, you will still land among stars.” Isn’t that beautiful?
It is not difficult to find mentors nowadays. We have so many resources at our fingertips only if we search for them.
If you have read about me, you know that I just watch videos and motivational speeches from successful people in my spare time.
If you lack motivation, then go on YouTube and search videos on motivation. And the beauty of YouTube is, based on your search, it will show the list of suggested videos in the same category.
2. Build a mastermind group
I will refer back to one of the sections in Napoleon Hill’s, “Think and Grow Rich” (this book is a gem, please read it at least once). If you surround yourself with like-minded people, not only do you learn something new from them, but you are also using leverage to achieve your goal quicker.
Find someone who is an expert in your subject. Nowadays, with social media, it has become even easier to build a mastermind group.
Conclusion
There is no such thing as impossible because the word “impossible” itself says, “I am possible.”
Achieving your goals in life should not be a difficult task. But, remember, slow and steady wins the race. It is better to take a small step every day than take no step at all.
I hope you have found this article helpful. Please feel free to read an article that may benefit your life.
Happy reading! Leave the comment below, and let’s get in touch!
References:
HARTLEY, J.O. “Procrastination: Thief of Time.” Good Health (Australia Edition), Nov. 2019, p. 102. EBSCOhost, search.ebscohost.com/login.aspx?direct=true&db=f6h&AN=138825301&site=ehost-live.
ZIELINSKI, DAVE. “Reframe Your Life in 5 Seconds: It’s Now or Never: Stop Procrastinating and Leap into Action with These Productivity Hacks.” Toastmaster, vol. 85, no. 3, Mar. 2019, p. 16. EBSCOhost, search.ebscohost.com/login.aspx?direct=true&db=f6h&AN=135384420&site=ehost-live.
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